Tardiness will not be Tolerated
by HecateA
Summary: Lily is nothing if not punctual, as James (and Lily's de facto husbands in his absence) quickly learn. Oneshot. Written for the Pre-Round Challenge of The House Cup.


**Author's note:** Because who doesn't like Lily bonding with the husbands she accidentally acquired while marrying James? On an unrelated note, I would commit rather grievous crimes in exchange for a lemon bar at this moment.

 **Legal disclaimer:** The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

 **Warning:** NA

Submitting info:

 **House:** Hufflepuff

 **Role:** Player (Second Year)

 **Category:** Pre-Round Challenge

 **Prompt:** Verity - Era - Marauders

 **Representation:** Lily Evans Potter, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, Marauders, Marauders and Lily friendship, old Order of the Phoenix, Marauders

Word Count: 3341

* * *

 **Tardiness will not be Tolerated**

"Oye," James said swinging his bag onto the table she'd secured for them in the library. "Sorry I'm late, Evans."

She had no idea what she possibly could have done to Professor Slughorn to warrant being partnered up with James Potter for their research reports on the impact of imported potions ingredients. None. She'd rather wash beekers until she graduated. But Sirius and Remus had paired up quickly, and with Peter having dropped out of NEWT level potions James had found himself the odd man out. And since Lily refused to work with Severus Snape anymore, they'd both found themselves in need of a partner. The Potions Master did have a strange sense of humour about pairing people together.

"I don't particularly care why you're late, but you should know that I appreciate punctuality," Lily said. She was going to have to lay some ground rules, or else this group project was going to be a nightmare. That was what all the girls in her dormitory had agreed on when they'd strategized last night.

"Right," James said. "Noted. Sorry Evans. I did stop by the kitchens to grab us some snacks, if that's of any consolation."

"I don't need to be consoled on account of how low my expectations for you were in the first place," Lily said coolly. "Besides, there's no eating in the library."

But the snacks that James Potter materialized were a collection of cupcakes with various icings and fillings and decorations. Lily thought that the lemon-scented one smelled so good, surely Madam Pinch wouldn't mind.

"A rule-breaking Lily Evans," James said, pretending to gasp and clutch his chest. "Well, I never…"

"Shh," she said.

He grinned. "You've got icing on your nose, Evans."

She felt herself blush, one of the significant disadvantages of being a redhead. James must have noticed, because he reached out for a cupcake and smashed the chocolate icing over his nose, which made her laugh so loudly they could have gotten caught.

* * *

The next time they were due to work on the assignment, James Potter was sitting at their usual table by the time Lily arrived—and she'd left the Gryffindor Common Room intending to arrive ten minutes early. Before him were all their notes from last time, three new books to comb through, a fresh pot of ink, two quills, and a plate of lemon squares.

"You're early," she said, slipping into the seat before him.

"I was under the impression that you did not appreciate belatedness," James said.

Lily wasn't sure what to say. "Yes. Thank you, then."

"I did get the sense that you appreciated lemon," James said. "No icing this time, since you had trouble with that."

"Oh, sod off," Lily said. But she couldn't help herself from smiling.

* * *

"You've had a significant reduction in your detention hours, Mr Potter," McGonagall said while he helped her set up the classroom for her next students.

He'd stayed behind to ask some extra questions about Animagi— namely would an Animagi (like Sirius) die if they ingested something toxic to their Animagus form (like chocolate) while in that form (say, a dog). It had just felt rude not to help good old McGonagall after that, especially since he'd loved this particular lesson when he was in first year. It had convinced him that this was his favourite class.

Besides, Sirius should have known better than to test whether foods poisonous to dogs were poisonous to him as a dog. Let him sweat and wonder if his hours were numbered for a moment longer, James thought. That was one day to teach an old dog new tricks in the likes of 'No Padfoot, human experimentation is bad. Bad boy.'

"Yeah," James said. "Turns out, being late for classes was engulfing massive quantities of my time."

"Well, I do raise my hat to whoever managed to knock some time management skills into your head. I would quite like to know their methods," McGonagall said.

James thought too hard of Lily in that moment, in a way that you didn't think of a friend as. He switched topics to stay on track.

"As it turns out, it's helped to maximize practice time for the Quidditch team, Professor," he said.

"That's what I like to hear," McGonagall said. "Now tell me more about how you're planning on tackling that new Ravenclaw seeker, Potter, because the Slytherins failed miserably and I've taunted Horace quite terribly about it and I won't have that coming back to haunt me."

"Yes ma'am," James said.

* * *

"How do I look?" James asked.

"You look great," Remus said. "And just in the nick of time since your date is in three hours."

"Oh, but in case you haven't heard," Peter said, before continuing in a rather good impression of James, "Lily doesn't appreciate delays, you know!"

Sirius howled with laughter from his bed, and James threw a pillow at him. When Sirius retaliated, James hit the floor.

"If you mess up my hair—" James threatened.

"You'll have three hours to tend to it, calm down," Remus said.

* * *

Maybe they were bad friends for not partaking in the pacing-around-the-cottage that Lily was engaged in, but they were all way too comfortable in the living room. Peter had built a fire in the fireplace before supper to combat the December cold. He poked at the coals while it was Sirius' turn to contemplate the chess board between them. Remus was sitting on the couch, a blanket thrown over his lap, reading a book and holding an ice pack over his lip. He had split it in the last full moon and it hadn't healed properly since. There were cups of tea everywhere, which was the true mark of a quiet, lazy evening.

Lily was the only restless one. She opened and closed the pantry door again and drifted back to the main room in the front of the house and surveyed how quiet the three Marauders she wasn't married to were. Peter had thoughtfully drawn all the curtains, and Lily was resisting the urge to tear them open and keep an eye on pedestrian traffic.

She sat down on the staircase facing the door and took James' watch out of his pocket. On account of how it'd belonged to his father, he didn't wear it while he was out on Order business—just in case. Lily had promised that she'd take care of it this time as she always had, and now she looked at it anxiously.

It was 7:00 PM. An hour. He was officially half an hour late.

She buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic...

The next breath she drew was shaky. So shaky, that Remus turned around to look at her and called out her name softly.

"Lily? Lily, are you alright?"

That got Peter and Sirius' attentions too. She looked up at the three of them, looking at her with cocked heads and concerned eyes, and wasn't sure what to do.

"He's late," she said. "He should have been back by now."

"Well, yeah, but he's out with Fabian Prewett," Sirius said. "You know them, both hopeless at time management. I'm honestly not sure why Mad-Eye paired them up."

"You know what Moody says," Remus said, putting the bookmark back in his book and slowly standing up.

"'Only panic after two hours and one minute,'" Peter quoted in a shockingly accurate imitation of Mad-Eye. Peter was good at imitations and could usually get a good laugh out of her with them, but it didn't make Lily feel better in any way, shape, or form. She just took an even deeper breath and buried her face in her arms.

"Two hours is such a long time if something did go wrong," Lily said. She could think of situations she'd been in where an extra second could have cost her her life—or James' life, for that matter, since he was usually there…

"Evans, deep breath," Sirius said, putting down his cup of tea.

Remus knelt in front of Lily and he put what was probably meant to be a reassuring hand on her knee.

"Lily, he's done this route plenty of times before," Remus said. "Nobody knows it better than him."

"Well it's different this time, isn't it?" Lily said. "He's with Fabian, not one of you. Not that Fabian's not wonderful, but they also just added Malfoy Manor to the route which changes things…"

"Malfoy Manor isn't that scary," Sirius said. "Trust me. Drafty as hell, and I hear Lucius Malfoy put peacocks in the yard, too. Bloody peacocks, what a stupid bird."

Sirius had been trying to make her feel better, but a sob caught in her throat and she buried her face in her hands. In the latest of the intercepted correspondence that Lily had translated from Ancient Runes for the Order, Lucius Malfoy had been called "a most loyal servant—his delicacy in all tasks makes his magic hard to trace and his targets harder to find once he has served the Dark Lord's needs."

Remus sat on the staircase next to her and put an arm around her.

"There you go Padfoot, you've made her cry," Peter hissed.

"Hey now, Evans," Sirius said, coming over.

"I know it's hard Lily, but honestly, I'm sure James is fine," Remus said.

"He's one of the best duelers in the Order," Peter said, coming closer. "And Prongs is good at hiding in a pinch."

"Honestly, do you think he'd let some Death Eater get him? He's much too stubborn," Sirius decreed.

"Do you want more tea, Lily?" Peter said. "I think your first cup's gone cold…"

She'd been looking forwards to sitting in bed with cups of tea tonight, nestled against James while he told her all about his latest adventure. Peter had no way of knowing this and ergo why he'd just made her cry harder.

"Lily," Remus said, frowning. "Lily, this isn't like you, love. He's been out before, and he's been late before too. What's so different about this time?"

"If something happened to him now, there's the baby," Lily sobbed. She then realized what she'd said, and her breath caught in her throat. She looked up at the three Marauders currently present.

Peter's jaw dropped.

Sirius' mouth was in a perfect 'O,' eyes popped, eyebrows furrowed.

Remus' eyes widened but he was obviously making an effort to stay composed.

"Oh, God," Lily said putting her face back in her hands. "I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"You're? No…" Peter said, frowning. "How can you...?"

"Come off it Peter, I think we know how," Remus said, tightening his arm around Lily's shoulders.

She looked back at her hands, anxiously twisted together, and the sparkle of her wedding ring caught her eye. Sirius gently took her hands, which made her look up.

"Evans," he said evenly. "Does James know?"

"This wasn't how you were all supposed to find out," Lily said.

James had seen mugs emblazoned with 'WORLD'S GREATEST UNCLE' in a Muggle shop out in the town square. He'd thought it would be hilarious to serve tea in a trio of those cups one day and see who would be the first to figure it out. He'd gotten a camcorder from her father last Christmas, and he'd been determined to film their reactions. Whoever had the funniest face would be godfather, he'd said. He'd had it all planned out—he'd pulled her against him one night and put a hand on her stomach while unveiling this 'master plan' of his. He'd said it couldn't be a prank since this was real, but it would be the ultimate surprise—and it was important to start the baby off young.

"Sirius asks a really good question," Remus said gently. "Does James know?"

Lily nodded.

"He knows," Lily said. "We've known for… for two weeks, I suppose."

"Well then, there you go," Sirius said. "Then he's absolutely going to make it back, Evans. He'd turn the world upside down for you, but if you're having a baby? Then it'll go inside-out too."

"You're having a baby," Remus said, squeezing the arm around her shoulders. "Lily, that's wonderful! Congratulations…"

"Congratulations," Peter said, sitting on the other side of her, and putting an arm around her shoulder. Sirius squeezed her hands and kissed her forehead.

"I'd be so mad at you for keeping secrets if that wasn't Sirius the Second in there…"

"Absolutely not."

"I have time to change your mind," Sirius said.

Lily laughed shakily.

Remus was stroking her hair soothingly, Sirius had an incredibly idiotic grin on his face, and Peter's eyes were wide and sparkling. Between the three of them she was starting to feel better. All of a sudden, this baby was something to be excited about, not scared for.

"I'm sorry, I've been crying for nothing for weeks now," Lily said wiping at her eyes. "Hormones, and all. It's silly, I'm sorry."

"Nonsense, you're fine. How far along are you?" Remus asked.

"About nine weeks," Lily said. "The baby's actually about the size of a Snitch right about now. James thought that was hilarious when he saw the poster at St. Mungo's…"

"I have questions," Sirius interjected. "Number one, when's it going to be the size of a Quaffle?"

"Ideally after it's born," Lily said anxiously.

"Number two, is James the father?"

"Sirius fucking Black," Peter hissed under his breath, but Lily laughed at his deadpanned expression.

"We weren't expecting this—well, I don't need to tell you that," Lily said chewing her lip. "But it's good news, it has to be."

"Absolutely," Remus said. "You and James will make lovely parents."

"Oh yeah," Sirius said. "This is going to be the luckiest baby in the world."

"And the cutest," Peter chimed in.

"I just wish it wasn't born during a war," Lily said quietly.

"Well that settles it," Sirius said. "We've got seven more months to defeat Voldemort and end this thing. Someone tell Dumbledore it's really time to hop on it now."

Lily laughed again.

"I hope James won't be mad that I told you without him," Lily said. "If he is, tell him it was an accident, honest."

"He won't care," Sirius promised. "I, for one, can't believe that idiot managed to keep his mouth shut that long… Well, if he were here, he wouldn't have you sitting on these staircases. Come on Evans, to the sofa. Peter, what about that tea you were mentioning? Did you want to put on one of those Muggle films, Evans? Remus knows how to work a television, right?"

"I'm alright," Lily said. But she was vastly outnumbered by three men who had no real concrete idea of what to do with a pregnant woman, but who were absolutely determined to do something. And so she let them lead her to the sofa where a blanket was thrown across her knees and her feet were propped up on an ottoman. Remus gave her one of the chocolate frogs from the emergency stash in the secret compartment of his bag along with his usual refrain of: "Eat, you'll feel better." He did take back the card of Agrippa that was inside.

"It'll be the first card for the baby's collection," he said, kissing the top of her head. Lily smiled.

Remus slipped into the kitchen where Sirius and Peter were ransacking the cupboards to put as many biscuits as possible on a plate to accompany the tea.

"I'm going to go find Gideon Prewett," Remus said. "Just to see if he's heard anything from James and Fabian. Send me a patronus if James gets back in the meantime."

"Okay," Peter said. All of a sudden, their trust in James had vanished and they were full of giddy, worried, nervous energy.

So that was how Remus ended up at the Prewett House that the brothers had inherited and were living like slobs in.

There he found Gideon, who was dispatched to Edgar Bones' flat, since Edgar Bones, as a rule of thumb, knew things.

This led Edgar to barge into the Longbottom residence unannounced, catching Alice and Frank in a compromising situation during which the last thing on their minds was definitely not James Potter.

This particular turn of events explained why Frank was so unhappy when he went to the Ministry to find Mad-Eye, who was working late on a case.

At that point Mad-Eye reminded everyone that he had inaugurated their two-hour time limit for a reason and Frank threw his hands up in the air and said he was just as confused about why he was being dispatched to look for Potter in the first place (after all, he was probably fine but bad at time management, after all).

Which was how Mad-Eye ended up at the Potter cottage to yell at Peter about breaking protocol, at which point Peter froze up and panicked and Sirius stepped in to say that Remus was the one who'd gone out anyways. Mad-Eye said in no uncertain terms that unless Remus Lupin was officially out on Order business, he did not give a rat's ass about Remus Lupin who was not to go around creating problems.

Meanwhile, Remus Lupin (though he was not supposed to go around creating problems), went to the Burrow to see if Fabian Prewett had stopped by his sister's house on his way back. He had not, but Remus had a very interesting conversation with a seven-year-old Charlie about which kind of dragon was the best kind of dragon. The conversation lasted surprisingly long, and Charlie Weasley was surprisingly accurate.

From there, Remus went to Hogsmeade to check in on the Hog's Head, where they weren't supposed to go unnecessarily to try and maintain the secrecy of their headquarters. There, he crossed paths with Mad-Eye Moody who gave Remus a lengthy lecture about disrupting the chain of command and official Order protocols and operations. This lecture was such a loud affair that it drew Albus Dumbledore, Fabian Prewett, and James Potter out of one of the shabby rooms they'd been debriefing in.

"Moony?" James said. "Everything okay? Damn, lip's broken again…"

"If there's no fires in immediate need of putting out, Lily needs you," Remus said.

James frowned and his face paled. He turned back to Dumbledore and Fabian.

"Go on," Dumbledore said. "Fabian will be able to fill me in, I presume. Meanwhile, Lily is a more than capable and independent witch. On the occasion that she does need anything specific, it would be most unkind to deny her."

So James nodded and scurried down the stairs, thanked Aberforth for the hospitality, and pulled on his coat as he followed Remus out.

"Is she alright?" James asked. "Is she..?"

"She's worried sick about you," Remus said. "Got so scared, she was crying and shaking. She..."

He took James' arm and they Apparated to Godric's Hollow.

"She told us about the baby," Remus said quietly once they were alone.

"She did?" James asked. For a second the furrow between his eyebrows faded and a stupid grin spread across his face. For whatever reason, James Potter suddenly became shy for the first time in his life, and spent a good amount of time smiling at his shoes before making eye contact with Remus. Remus couldn't help but smile back and clapped a hand on James' shoulder.

"Come on then, don't keep her waiting," Remus said.

They walked up the little path that led up to the house, and James was inside within seconds. Lily sprung up from the living room to greet him within seconds. He scooped her up and kissed her, and then she burrowed her face in his chest.

"I'm sorry," James said. "I'm really sorry. I didn't think it would be any different, I didn't mean to scare you."

"New rule," Lily said.

"I'm not good with rules," James said.

Lily ignored him and went on, "Tardiness will not be tolerated for the next seven months."

"I technically wasn't late," James said.

"Now is not the time for that," she said laying her head against his chest again.

"Now is not the time," he agreed.


End file.
